1st March 2005

Sleep...that temporary death, relieved me of the burden of thinking, for a brief but precious moment.

I've more or less stopped looking for a special person ; I choose to love myself now because that is the only person who counts to me in this misbegotten society where people only think of lifting a finger out of self-interest, satisfying their lust for carnal pleasures, money or to relieve their own loneliness. Altruism is well and truly dead in Singapore.

Well,dying at any rate.

P.S- To Ray: I'm finally OVER you(since one and a half weeks ago actually) because I have stopped caring totally ... I'm surprised to discover that one bounces back very rapidly in their 30s.

A chance from the heart is a rare gift

28th February 2005

The last day of a bitter month....life and love are not working out as well as I had thought it would in January, but determination is my middle name and I will rough it out gamely.


Surprised(pleasantly) when a 'friend' I made on a gay website suddenly called me and asked if I would like to go with him to Bangkok in April.

"Nah...I can't get off work then....," I replied, picturing my recollection of his posted photo in my mind.

Then another potential date(who I discovered is a dancer) called me about half an hour after I had been embraced by a soothing slumber to arrange a meeting. Groggy though I was, I mumbled something about being free on Tuesday evening, while feeling guilty about not being able to talk to him longer because my gray cells were more or less off for the night.

Obviously, both of them had fallen for my handsome photo on the dating website.

I wonder if this second chance will work out....keeping my fingers crossed, for love has never blossomed for me in the first half of the year.....ever!


Dom