9th May 2005

My nose is perpetually clogged with dull yellow-coloured pus of unknown origin, and this, together with a slight fever, makes me feel like sticking my middle finger in the face of anyone who even thinks of getting in my way.

I'm truly and genuinely ill for the first time in a long time.

I don't get a kick out of interacting with all the assholes around me(with the exception of several non-assholes) because they are so shallow and parochial and downright boring.

Every interaction seems so superficial because everyone eventually goes back to doing their own thing and living life for their selfish selves. Maybe I should stop hoping for this to be different. After all, I've long compromised my rather unusual ability to emphatise for others.

In this society, feeling happiness at the misfortune of another has been elevated to an art form and envy, jealousy and false barriers keep relationships frigid and distant.

I can't feel comfortable when horny females of various ages flirt unabashedly like the desperate hookers they are, out of boredom, silliness, stupidity or whatever crap reason they are doing it.

In the current state of mind, I'd like to request that the world f**k *ff bigtime! If you don't want to derive fulfillment from me or give me any, then leave me well alone, because that's better than being hurt, humiliated and harried.