Fairness.......... aka Revenge

'Life is not fair...' goes the oft-quoted saying.

I would venture to continue: '...so you should grab your fairness!'

Having never really understood why I'm so different from other average people,but having some inkling that it might just have to do with a psychologically-scarred childhood that constantly cried out for love but never received any genuine form of it.

Or at least, I didn't know how to go and get love at an early age.

Instead, I gradually turned insular over the years,instinctively avoiding confidence in my aloof parents.

In short, I self-pitied myself constantly!

As the mentally-sedated teens gave way to the psychologically- and emotionally- stormy twenties, I still hadn't dealt with my sexual orientation and hated myself for the majority of those years(apart from 1992 to 1996).

Then, in the midst of my thirties, I stumbled upon an elegant, and all too human solution: to get even when I was disadvantaged.

Thus, I got even with my persecuting principal by writing a nasty letter to his own superior, and taking two months of medical leave just prior to my resignation from the job.

And I'm getting even with the people who gave me my Life,something I wished to give back during almost half of my existence(maybe more) by staying put in their house,even though I know they would want nothing more than for me to leave.

They refuse to acknowledge their role in shaping my aberrations, and so I'm staying in my current place rental-free for as long as I can as a compensation of sorts.


If you find this mode of thinking sad, then you're the only one who feels that between us.


I couldn't be happier!