There's no skill in being upbeat when things are going well...

In my normal estimation, January has been a horrid month: business has slowed to a dwindle and even the remaining business has seen payment delays, items bought online for large sums of money have been delayed, and my investments have turned suddenly and sharply southward.

Wait a minute.

Am I not supposed to wallow in self-pity and almost cry at this juncture, especially in the light of how rip-roaringly upbeat the same time last year seemed?

No.

This is the new me.

Despite having nothing except my newly-acquired perfume bottles and the modest savings I've so assiduously squirreled, no love life since early 2008, and no meaningful friendships to rely on, I have to be my own bulwark against this slippery slope to depression.

I have determined to look forward and not backward this time: I've made that mistake far too many times in the past.

I will fight back tenaciously with or without God's help.(I've asked, but the yea or nay is always withheld)

The necessity of these episodes of barren winters is obvious: to steel one's soul against the threats to one's sanity and psychological health.

In these difficult times, there are things that I can still love: the challenges; the sense of accomplishments, albeit minor; the interest in personal histories which I can take a page from; the beauty I see all around me.

People who are prosperously endowed take many things in life for granted: preoccupied with enjoying themselves, they may eventually tire of the emptiness of material possessions.

Maybe I'm being a sore loser here, but I'm also trying to console myself.

So what if I'm paid late? I have something to look forward to later!

So what if business is bad now? It's only temporary because I know how good I am at my job!

So what if the stockmarket is down now? It'll rebound soon!

So what if there hasn't been love in my life for almost 3 years? There's more time for me to improve myself for the opportune moment!

So what if there are worries about my future now? It forces me to use the 'little grey cells' & not to allow them to wither like the wealthy who merely preoccupy themselves with hedonism.

I actually feel much better after writing this entry!

Truly, who doesn't know how to be upbeat when everything's coming up roses? The real skill is in being happy when the coldness of winter and the darkness of impending nightfall creep up on you and threaten to engulf you in pathos.

And if I succeed in braving the cold darkness with a wide brilliant smile, I have truly succeeded in living!