23rd May 2005

Loneliness can make one do stupid things: like calling someone you know will only humour you, and whose friendship will hold out no benefit, while spending a lot of money doing it.

My pre-paid card balance fell like a rock from over $22 to just $6, and all I gained was some temporary respite from my solitude.

I must hit the treadmill today to burn off my calories and pent-up frustration at life.

Today, I felt a lot of anger at someone on the Hub for not granting me a slot and was tempted to let loose some cutting remark(think bitchiness!)

But I held my tongue(or rather, my finger) and thus successfully resisted being a mirror for the meanness that society displays in abundance.


Life is always unfair, but at least a human being is equipped with the inner guts to overcome it and get over(or get even, even!)

The only pitiful thing is that, for most Singaporeans, a comfortable life has made them softer than cotton candy when it comes to facing adversity and overcoming disappointments.

And worse still, I have to admit that living in this society for such a great length of time has made me somewhat soft too: long gone are the days when I had to get up at 430am to walk 15 minutes to a congested checkpoint and struggle through bestial crowds to catch a rickety ride to work.

Or the days when I had to live on 1 meal a day because of looming financial problems and sleeping all day through joblessness so that I didn't have to spend a single cent on anything.

I'm not wealthy by any financial yardstick(though apparently, according to statistics, I have more cash in the bank than 95% of the world's debt-ridden family-cursed population!) but I give thanks constantly for my enduring health and presentability(what a word!) and for every minute that I have more than I can possibly use for the moment.

Living for the moment is the only valid and feasible goal for a mortal like me.