Draw the last breath of the whiff of idleness...

26th June 2005

Well, it's back to grind of grimy work tomorrow, and somehow, I 'm just not looking forward to it.

Can you blame me?

Dated two people in the space of a day, the more recent one less shallow than the other.

Nope, I still can't tell if I was more than just superficially attractive to them. And this proves that I'm still unable to free myself from the shackles of desire.

I guess it could be a function of my dreading the thought of another manic Monday tomorrow.
And it's definitely a function of solitude and the feeling of not mattering to the world.

On the verge of giving up on love? You bet! On the verge of another lonely few years? We'll see...

Gave up the thought of hitting the club scene last night, because I just sensed that it would come to no good. And it'd make me a little poorer(and God knows I'm sick and tired of feeling 'poor', in all senses of the word).

Oh, I'm far from being my most philosophical right now. Or my most lucid.Or my most inspired.
But I go on because I remember that every breath I take is a gift from God. Every pleasurable sight a blessing of a miracle. Every scented smell a trip among the clouds. And every happy musing a drop of heaven.

I'm fighting to do all these, of course, but every victory is a thing greater than words can describe.