A restful two days coming up...

Tomorrow will be a good day for me because it's a half day and I'll be looking forward to maybe hitting the gym and eating my favourite food again.

I've enjoyed my last weekend, filming the Pesta Sukan and photographing cute athletes from Indonesia and Thailand, using a two thousand plus dollar Panasonic video camera I bought on Friday.

Splurged on a one-night stay in the Hotel Royal, and visited Newton Food Centre while trying to spot Mars in the sky. Couldn't see the Red Planet but at least I had a good time soaking in a tub(three times) and sleeping in a comfortable bed.

That evening, I had visited Cali for a good workout and then dropped by at March'e for some Rosti, sausage, soup and mixed fruit waffles with ice-cream.

Then, on Sunday morning, I went to the East Coast Park to soak in the sea, the sand and muscles!Lots of young, virile muscles!

While walking to and from the hotel, I had a chance to savour Han's fare in Novena Square.

All this while keeping my laptop on at home downloading files using my free 2 month(1 1/4 months remaining) Internet connection.


I had a good weekend!

Today is my Dad's birthday...

19th August 2005

My father was born this day many, many years ago. I called home to wish him at 7:30pm when I suddenly remembered that it was today and not the next day.

He had gone off to work not too long before. Because we are not very close, I left my wishes with my mum, instead of opting to call him at his workplace.

My maternal grandmother has been in the ICU in Kuala Lumpur for a few days now. I hope she recovers but can't help feeling what I suspect everyone else is feeling : that the end has come for her.

Am I saddened? A little, but not quite as much as I think I should be; after all, I am talking about my last living grandparent here.

Although she's 86 this year, if she leaves this world soon, she will do so without any great-grandchildren: her eldest grandchild is a feisty brat who refuses to get attached, despite having been through many rough and tumble relationships with various guys of various races.
Her second eldest(my brother) has been married for seven years but has put off having a child for professed(and unexplained) reasons. Her third eldest is gay and has a white boyfriend in Australia.Her fourth eldest(me) won't pretend to be hetero even to save his life! Further down the line are younger cousins of mine who are mostly yet to be attached(one just got married in June this year) and won't be for some time due to their youth.

And to think that my mother belonged to a family of seven children!

Life can be surprising and ironic in equal measure!

My soul is a delicate butterfly in the temperamental cross-winds of Fate and Fortune intertwined.
Destiny leads me where it will,
Through paths unknown and uncharted voyages,
I can flit and flutter round and round,
Oblivious to what waits around the corner of the next minute, the next second.

My birthday looms near, and it looks probable that I will have no one special around to celebrate it with me for the fourth year running.Last year, the only birthday wish I got was from an OCBC ATM machine! Sounds sad? It is, but it's also true.Even the card my parents sent me arrived late.

Four days later, I met Robin. That relationship dead-ended seven weeks later.

In 2003, I came close to experiencing intimacy through my birthday but it ended very shortly before...hmmm, almost two years to the day, in fact.
Well, at least I celebrated it at Genki Sushi with two ex- University mates.

I really shouldn't dwell on this pathos-filled thought and give thanks instead for all that has worked out in my life.

Plodding on...

16th August 2005

Giving thanks for just being alive and well doesn't come naturally to me. And today was just one such day, when I woke up feeling rather listless and having to force confidence out from within harder than ever in the past week.

Life is hardly easy, especially from the psychological point of view. Just when you think that you are winning the psychological battle against yourself, your mind starts playing games and you find yourself morphing into someone who has really ugly thoughts.

Love deprivation is a little like sleep deprivation I suppose: one feels a little punch drunk and is unable to think rationally at times. Don't get me wrong, I'm not trying to find anyone special. Far from it. I'm trying desperately to be happy and knowing that 100% self-assurance and self-confidence is the way to go.

I must love myself even if the whole world casts me aside in its hatefullness and shallowness.

Just knowing that I have so much to give thanks for doesn't suffice to keep me contented on some days. But I'm also learning to get by regardless of my mental and psychological state.

I know deep down under that I have the heart and spirit of a champion, surviving little and large ordeals that would have compelled the normal human being to commit suicide years ago.

Which probably explains why I'm so drawn to sports, and why I never relent on pushing myself hard on the treadmill.Because I know succes takes just that much effort and determination.

Love confuses me, so I chuck it for now. Life puts obstacles in my way but I trample on them in order to leap higher still!

I need luck, of course, but my life will turn out more successful than I believe it could be.

Fruitful and frugal

14th August 2005

Yesterday,I finaaly retired to bed at 3:30am( after 2 consecutive gym workouts in 2 days in more months than I care to remember.

I woke up at 8:15 am,felt a searing pain in my eyes associated with fatigue,checked my downloads overnight, reslept, rewoke at 12:05pm, had a few lazy thoughts while eating raisin bread I bought at Han's the previous evening, watched 'The Trip Back',reslept at 2:30pm,rewoke at 4:30 pm, and, tiring of my snail-slow download speeds, sallied out to find dinner.

After Yong Tau Fu and some buttered toast and eggs at Ya Kun, I dropped by at the library and had the pleasure of finding a new book written by Nadia Comaneci,who found unbridled fame at fourteen and has never really lost it since.

Of course, this is one person I never tire of reading, and soon I was at page 103 in less than an hour and a half, covering her early years till the 1980 Moscow Games.

Probably the best week of 2005 thus far.

12th August 2005

Wow. I haven't updated my diary for some days now!

On Monday, I bought a 10m modem cable and set-up my free 2 month Starhub Internet connection that I got by virtue of my purchase of my new 80GB Altec-Lansing speaker-equipped baby.

And my first 2 1/2 days of being connected coincided with vacations so I was able to download in excess of 3GB in that interval, including many interesting e-comics and superhero cartoon series from the 1960s.

It's all quiet on the financial front as I have done nothing since the week before, but I am sitting on a 18% gain on my S$1 700 investment in People's Food.

And to top it all off, it's Friday, always a day to look forward to.

I've been feeling good about my body recently due to more frequent trips to the gym. And yes, several cute muscular guys have given me the eye!

An uneventful Sunday

7th August 2005

It's almost lunchtime and I've been downloading for 4 hours, so it's time to head out to the gym(after some chow) and work my ass off for a couple of hours. Today the download speeds have not been good so it's the right time to split.

In the midst of what should be a glorious weekend

This weekend represents a bigger breather for me than previous weekends, in that Monday is not a work day for me as such, and both Tuesday and Wednesday are holidays.

I want to be productive in my private pursuits, but, as always, too much time on my hands means spending(or wasting) a lot of time watching my favourite shows or performances.

Today, I discovered a Chinese version of Kazaa which I'm using to download some muscle vids.

It's all a little unfamiliar to me, but this downloading business was new to me as recently as November 2003, so I'm game.


Some people are at McDonald's apparently to study but are seemingly more interested in hooking attractive guys like me.

Boy, are they barking up the wrong tree! Stupid bitches....haha.

RHB's big day!

Today, RHB -WB rose a further 50%, allowing me to slough off 30,000 shares at an average price of 13.8 sen, a rise of RM1290 over yesterday's proceeds should I have sold it then.

My Cepco shares did not rise, but are maintaining their rather high level. The overall market is very bullish, the KLCI rising over 950 points, with the gainer: loser margin at 513:274. Another delightful discovery: the profit on my sale of 1,500 Cepco shares the other day came up to RM850.39, and not merely RM600.

Today, I took time out from my busy schedule to call my broker to buy 3,000 UEM Builder shares at 75.5 sen. At 4:20 pm, they're at 80.5 sen, so I am delighted I made the right decision!

Over in S'pore, PFood is up 15% from where I bought it recently, while my bet on Creative call warrants paid off, the instrument up 40% from the 13.5 cents price I purchased them for.

Cepco ready to move?

With slightly over RM600 earned from selling 1,500 Cepco Bhd. stock on Bursa Malaysia, I'm watching this counter closely as I still have 2,000 shares left, which, at today's closing of RM3.38, is yielding approximately RM1,600. But I have decided to learn from my mistakes,and aim for a loftier target of 4-5 ringgit.

With the capital of RM4,500 released, I can now nibble on beaten-down blue-chips like NSTP, NamFatt and UEM Builders.

Another piece of good news on the market: my holdings of RHB-WB surged 80% today on heavy volume, cutting down my paper losses on that stock by RM2,400.

Having just finished a robust workout at Cali today, I 'm surfing at MacDonalds Chinatown for a bit before heading to Han's for a well-deserved couple of toasted sandwiches and some of their delightful coffee.

I feel vindicated that some of my bets are paying off...and just in time too!