Insurmountable impulses

Finding a person to care for...

I've tried to avoid looking for such a one almost ever since I found out I was a 'male' equivalent of a lesbian(I so hate that orthodox term for it!).

But my humanness engulfs the potential success of that endeavour and renders it in vain. Just like my tortured childhood overwhelms my attempt to overcome my fear of strangers(the first stranger I knew ended up inflicting Life-quaking chaos in my psyche) and renders it drivel in the sea of consequence.