Do you just pay lip service to Change?
Change is a constant, so we are reminded constantly.
And many people(I'm willing to wager in the region of 99%)claim that they're able to change any imperfections in their dispositions and character traits.
However, I submit that is about as easy as swimming the English Channel in the blackness of 4 am in the birthing dawn.
I see the lip-service-to-change fiascoes right around me, and in the most important example : Me!
My own mother claims she has changed and is capable of changing anything which is wrong with her( principally, a selfishness that has,perhaps unsurprisingly, passed on to me, and secondly, a tendency to lip service without active follow-up action). However, when even a hint of one of her negative tendencies is even on the verge of being dropped, she immediately goes into defensive drive, parrying any anticipated or imagined blow even when there was none falling!
Another is her younger sister(my aunt) who also pays equally fervent lip service to change, but fails absolutely(and quite miserably) at it.
My father is another 'shining' example of how change becomes almost chronically impossible in adulthood, although, lo and behold, he ALSO pays fervent lip service to it!
His temper is as fiery(and almost as uncontrolled)as in the past when it comes to dealing with children.
But any attempt to bring a hint of these shortcomings to them results in an almost panicked accusation of being blamed.
Look right around the world, and you can estimate that MOST PEOPLE(I would figure in the ballpark of 99.99%) have trouble dealing with the sad fact that they may be wrong or flawed in any way.
Just think of the finger-pointing and blame-deflecting antics of bankers and leaders directly responsible for the sordid state of economic affairs at the tail end of this, the first decade of the new millenium.
We all(or almost all) seem to constantly entertain the notion(or fantasy) that we're somehow perfect. I guess it makes living more bearable in this (increasingly) disillusioning and enervating collective Life of ours.
And mention of faults or shortcomings threatens this Life-ameliorating illusion of perfection and thus is to be countered with any means, innocent, indignant or downright underhanded.
As for me, Heaven knows how I've tried so hard to change the many shortcomings in my own personal character. But although I might claim to have succeeded partially in some of these huge attempts, an objective observer might(rightly) point out that I have not, in fact, succeeded in these attempts.
What is the motive for Change? In my honest opinion(based on years of observation and experience, pride ALWAYS trumps moral courage and the humility needed to admit one is wrong. I believe that the human spirit and nature is such that only earth-shaking events can really jolt our neural circuitry into change of any meaningful sort.
President Obama just admitted the other day that he had messed up, especially his selection of officials scandalised by matters akin to tax evasion and dishonesty.
However, some may argue that it's merely a publicity stunt to endear him further to an already endeared(but increasingly in danger of being unendeared) public.
So my conclusion is : anything short of such a 'character quake' will leave us, as the Simon & Garfunkel song 'The Boxer' says, "more or less the SAME".
And many people(I'm willing to wager in the region of 99%)claim that they're able to change any imperfections in their dispositions and character traits.
However, I submit that is about as easy as swimming the English Channel in the blackness of 4 am in the birthing dawn.
I see the lip-service-to-change fiascoes right around me, and in the most important example : Me!
My own mother claims she has changed and is capable of changing anything which is wrong with her( principally, a selfishness that has,perhaps unsurprisingly, passed on to me, and secondly, a tendency to lip service without active follow-up action). However, when even a hint of one of her negative tendencies is even on the verge of being dropped, she immediately goes into defensive drive, parrying any anticipated or imagined blow even when there was none falling!
Another is her younger sister(my aunt) who also pays equally fervent lip service to change, but fails absolutely(and quite miserably) at it.
My father is another 'shining' example of how change becomes almost chronically impossible in adulthood, although, lo and behold, he ALSO pays fervent lip service to it!
His temper is as fiery(and almost as uncontrolled)as in the past when it comes to dealing with children.
But any attempt to bring a hint of these shortcomings to them results in an almost panicked accusation of being blamed.
Look right around the world, and you can estimate that MOST PEOPLE(I would figure in the ballpark of 99.99%) have trouble dealing with the sad fact that they may be wrong or flawed in any way.
Just think of the finger-pointing and blame-deflecting antics of bankers and leaders directly responsible for the sordid state of economic affairs at the tail end of this, the first decade of the new millenium.
We all(or almost all) seem to constantly entertain the notion(or fantasy) that we're somehow perfect. I guess it makes living more bearable in this (increasingly) disillusioning and enervating collective Life of ours.
And mention of faults or shortcomings threatens this Life-ameliorating illusion of perfection and thus is to be countered with any means, innocent, indignant or downright underhanded.
As for me, Heaven knows how I've tried so hard to change the many shortcomings in my own personal character. But although I might claim to have succeeded partially in some of these huge attempts, an objective observer might(rightly) point out that I have not, in fact, succeeded in these attempts.
What is the motive for Change? In my honest opinion(based on years of observation and experience, pride ALWAYS trumps moral courage and the humility needed to admit one is wrong. I believe that the human spirit and nature is such that only earth-shaking events can really jolt our neural circuitry into change of any meaningful sort.
President Obama just admitted the other day that he had messed up, especially his selection of officials scandalised by matters akin to tax evasion and dishonesty.
However, some may argue that it's merely a publicity stunt to endear him further to an already endeared(but increasingly in danger of being unendeared) public.
So my conclusion is : anything short of such a 'character quake' will leave us, as the Simon & Garfunkel song 'The Boxer' says, "more or less the SAME".
posted by DP at
8:16 AM
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