23rd April 2005

I will be staying at home today, packing my sparse possessions into luggage and sturdy bags, still without a place to stay, but hoping against hope that I'll find one soon.

Unfortunately, I can't do much to help my situation, except to place out ads and flyers(which I have).

There are no parents around to ease my suffering, no friend to talk to who really cares, because they take the roof over their head, or the ATM parent sheltering and nurturing them for granted.

Deep down, one is truly alone in this society, where being different is frowned upon as heresy, and where people persist in their idiocy and shallow convictions, seemingly wearing their ignorance like a tarnished badge.

The pursuit of money and luxurious living is all-consuming, with humanity thrown out into the ditch.

I've never resorted to consoling myself by thinking that some would readily spend the millions at their disposal just to look somewhat better than a hog or to ameliorate their perceived ugliness in some way, while I need change nothing about my own facial features. For what I need to improve can be addressed with gym workouts.

I can console myself with the fact that I have more disposable cash than two-thirds of the people in the supposedly richest country in the world, and almost all the people my age here, who are typically laden with credit card debt, car loans and property loans, which they aren't aware, or refuse to acknowledge, that will keep them financially strapped for the large portion of the remainder of their lives.

But that would be making one of the biggest mistakes of all: settling for less which, not surprisingly, has become a habit for people here, growing comfortable with mediocrity.

It rots their brain.