27th March 2005

Let me share the lyrics of a country song written by Loretta Lynn and sung by Dolly Parton, which holds special meaning in my life now:
Wouldn't it be fine if you could love me
Just one time with a sober mind
Wouldn't that be fine
Now wouldn't that be fine
Wouldn't that be great
Throw the old glass crutch away
and watch it break
Wouldn't that be great
It's for our sake
Wouldn't that be great
Wouldn't it be great
If you could love me first and let the bottle wait
Now wouldn't that be great
Wouldn't that be great
Wouldn't that be great
Wouldn't that be great
Throw the old glass crutch away
and watch it break
Wouldn't that be great
It's for our sake
Wouldn't that be
Wouldn't it be good
And I know you could if you just would
Wouldn't it be good
And you know you could

For me, the glass crutch does not refer to the bottle, for I hardly touch alcohol, but rather, the 'glass crutch' refers to my insecurities and paranoia about others